I get that kids can be pests sometimes, but this seems a bit excessive.
All posts by Josh More
Peafowl
Two out of three ain’t bad.
Violet Backed Starling
Starling that is beginning to suspect that most girls, in fact, want to do more than just have fun.
BrownTufted Capuchin
Monkeys have yet to learn the dangers of the Goa’uld.
Discus
Three fish who have suddenly realized that they are COMPLETELY SURROUNDED by water.
Blue Crowned Pigeon
“Let them eat seed cake.”
Black Backed Jackal
Jackel wondering why all of Major Tom’s direct reports have been erased from the narrative.
Bichir
Wikipedia informs me that bichir “make good tankmates with other species large enough not to be prey” which, really, is a good general rule for many social interactions.
Asian Water Monitor
This water monitor is upset that the only summer job he could get was a lifeguard at the local pool. Stereotyping, that’s what this is.
Amazon Parrot
This parrot has read your mind and, while it is refraining from judgement, does not understand why your plan requires that the Jello be lemon flavoured.
Worry not, this parrot will not share what it has learned.
Giant Plumose Anemone
The word “plumose” comes from the Latin: “pluma” meaning down or “plumosus” meaning full of down or feathers. Further exploration suggests that it means something like “having multiple filaments coming off one axis, like a feather”. This gets more interesting when you look at the historical examples: “a plumose leaf”, “plumose tentacles”, or as in this example “plumose anemone”.
Basically, “plumose” means “feathery but not, you know, having anything to do with actual feathers”
Japanese Spider Crab
Unlike their namesake*, the Japanese spider crab only has two eyes. This is one of them.
* The “spider” part, not the “Japanese”** part
** Japanese people*** have two eyes, as do most animals**** that live there.
*** Well, most of them anyway
**** But not spiders
Sarcastic Fringehead
No. I have no idea why it’s called a sarcastic fringehead. It’s not like I live at a point in history where the majority of human knowledge is immediately available or anything.
Giant Pacific Octopus
Some days you just need a hug.
Fish
Hermann Rorschach actually stole his inkblot idea from mermaid psychologists who have used the technique for millenia.
Eland
Some zoos cheap out on their animal simulation sprites.
Magnificent Tree Frog
Frog pondering whether Sir Mix-A-Lot’s inability to lie is generalized or merely restricted to butt-related topics.
Panther Chameleon
This chameleon has realized that the systems protecting his country’s institutions are a lot weaker and vulnerable to both external interference and internal corruption than he had previously thought and has no idea what to do about it.
Pancake Tortoise
This tortoise has observed that gravity is particularly strong today.
Bobcat
Some broken branches aren’t what they appear to be.