Category Archives: Reptile

Rattlesnake

Rattlesnake

This snake is upset.

This snake did not put in all those years* snake school**, rising*** through the snake ranks at work, only to be stymied days before he was to get supreme power by someone who dared**** to remember***** things.

This snake feels he is owed supreme power. He needs supreme power. Without supreme power how will he ever be able to alter the rights of mice?


* Four years at snake prep school, four years at regular snake school, and three years at fancy-ass super snake school for rich snakes
** Well, they call it snake school, but there seems to be a lot more snake partying than snake studying. Just an observation from looking at calendars and such.
*** Really, for rich snakes from fancy-ass snake schools, “rising” is really just about not screwing up too publicly so you can get the next job handed to you.
**** The nerve of some people.
***** Anecdotal evidence would suggest that this snake might not remember things as well as other snakes. In the interest of fairness, I will not blame the snake for this as the snake might not remember that the snake has a memory problem.

Burmese Star Tortoise

Burmese Star Tortoise_2

The Burmese star tortoise is critically endangered because the natives of Myanmar can feed their family for a year by capturing and selling one on the black market. Being caught risks seven years of jail … but it’s hard to get caught.

When I talk of economic inequality as a threat, this is the sort of thing I mean.

* formerly Burma**
** formerly Toungoo***
*** formerly Ava****, Hanthawaddy****,† and Shan****
**** formerly Pagan*****
***** formerly Pyu and Mon city-states******
****** formerly unnamed iron, bronze, and stone age societies*******
******* formerly******** molten rock incapable of supporting human life
******** extremely formerly

† Where do commas†† go in relation to superscript footnote indications?†††
†† Does it matter if they are Oxford†††† commas?
††† The online guides do not agree‡, suggesting conflicts between US and UK English as well as differences between style guides
†††† Do other schools have their own commas?

‡ Well, they do all agree that footnotes should be used sparingly and only when needed‡‡
‡‡ They are, of course, wrong about that