They tried to make a movie. Surprisingly, gathering one hundred and one of these was the easy part, but then Ms. de Vil drowned and they had to do a bit of work on the script.
Images
Ray
That blue line on the trailing edge of the fin either indicates that there is chromatic aberration caused by the camera lens not being perfectly parallel to tank or the ray swimming backwards at near the speed of light.
Waterbuck (Kobus ellipsiprymnus)
You have to keep your wits about you when hiking in Africa as you never know when a waterbuck might be stalking you.
Shark Week!
Q: What causes sharks to swim erratically before flipping upside and becoming temporarily paralyzed?
A: Gin and tonic immobility
Sea Star
” I’ll… be… right… here. “
Popeye Catalufa Soldierfish (Pristigenys serrula)
I hate it when you finally figure out which fish is the red one, eventually haul it into the boat, and only after you’ve unwrapped and tasted it that you realize it’s watermelon instead of cherry.
Shark Week!
Q: Why can you make trees out of sharks, rays, and skates?
A: Because they’re all elasmobranches
Eye
Some fish are made of carpet and see through sphincters.
Evolution sure does a lot of experiments.
Longnose Gar (Lepisosteus osseus)
When fish get lonely, they swim to the surface where they can always find a friend.
Shark Week!
Q: Which movie mis-rental is most embarassing for shark parents on family night?
A: Clasper the Friendly Ghost
Fish
Talosians were once a technologically advanced culture but a nuclear holocaust left their planet virtually uninhabitable and killed most of the species. The survivors of the nuclear war congregated in underwater dwellings, where they became dependent on their mental ability to create stunningly real illusions, an ability that had been developed by their ancestors. As their mental powers grew, they lost the ability to use the technology left behind by their ancestors and eventual evolved into fish.
Urchin
Sea urchins are always ready for a rave, but you seldom notice unless you use a flash.
Shark Week!
Q: What do trocars, cannulas, and sharks have in common?
A: Ram ventilation.
Prairie Dog performing Othello
I will go seek him. Cassio, walk hereabout:
If I do find him fit, I’ll move your suit
And seek to effect it to my uttermost.
Shark Week!
Q: Why are there so few female impersonators in the shark community?
A: Because placoid scales reduce hydrodynamic drag.
Gobi
This fish thinks that the previous fish jokes weren’t funny at all and is a little bit offended that the previous fish laughed.
Fish jokes!
Did you know why fish don’t play basketball?
They’re afraid of the net
What do sea monsters eat?
Fish and ships.
How can fish be both thin from the outside, but still be full of fat?
Because they can’t calculate BMI. They just have scales.
Why did the goldfish go bankrupt?
Because he invested in metals but lived in a credit-based economy.
Two fish are swimming in a tank. One asks to the other “Do you know how to drive this?”
Why are fish always a little bit inscruitable?
There is always a piece of cod that passeth all understanding
Where do all the poor cephalopods live?
Squid row
How many fish does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Only one fish, but 47 lightbulbs. Flippers are slippery.
Ha!
Japanese Macaque (Macaca fuscata)
Some day he’ll be bigger. Some day he’ll go off and join or take over some other troop and start a family of his own. Some day, he’ll be gone from her life.
Until then, she’ll hold him as much as she can.
Swallow
I had long wondered how these nests were made, so I paused for a while to watch them. First, each glob of mud is about one beak’s worth. Beaks hold a lot more mud than it looks like they do. They create a row of mud at the bottom of the nest. It’s a slow process because there is often little room for footholds, so they sort of spit it out as they hover in the air. If you’ve ever seen these guys fly you know they’re not exactly built for hovering.
Anyway, it takes a while, but they eventually get a row about three little mud globs deep and as wide as they need to land on them. It’s a good things birds are light and that summer days are hot, because the line is just about firm enough for them to land on. This is when they start to firm up the row and build upon it. Then it’s back and forth and back and forth between the mud and the cliff face (or bridge, in this case). It’s exhausting, and sometimes they pause to rest a bit. That’s when things get interesting.
See, they live in a group and some of them, once they’ve started, seem to decide that it would be nice if the mud were a bit nearer. Then their neighbor flies off to get more mud for their nest. Opportunistically, the resting bird will glance around to see if anyone is watching (humans apparently don’t count), and zip out to steal their neighbor’s fresh dollop of mud and add it to their own nest. Then they make sure to just be resting there when their neighbor comes back.
I watched this process happen about three times before the victim bird caught on and there was a bit of chasing going on. I don’t know how common it is, but it’s somewhat nice to know that it’s not just humans that are assholes to each other when they’re tired.
Bactrian Camel (Camelus bactrianus)
And you thought answering the riddle of the sphinx was difficult.