Did you know why fish don’t play basketball?
They’re afraid of the net
What do sea monsters eat?
Fish and ships.
How can fish be both thin from the outside, but still be full of fat?
Because they can’t calculate BMI. They just have scales.
Why did the goldfish go bankrupt?
Because he invested in metals but lived in a credit-based economy.
Two fish are swimming in a tank. One asks to the other “Do you know how to drive this?”
Why are fish always a little bit inscruitable?
There is always a piece of cod that passeth all understanding
Where do all the poor cephalopods live?
How many fish does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Only one fish, but 47 lightbulbs. Flippers are slippery.