I know it’s hard to tell from the camouflage at work and the fact that he’s crouching down like that, but there’s a cheetah in this photo.
Chestnut-backed Thrush (Zoothera dohertyi)
Once upon a time, I thought I knew how balance worked.
Catfish
Without those whiskers, catfish would just all roll straight to the bottom of the lake.
Canada Goose
Most raindrops are of some interest, but this particular one is fascinating.
Comet (Calloplesiops altivelis)
Contrary to what most people believe the comet’s tail always points away from the sun and doesn’t always show the direction it is moving.
Blue-breasted Kingfisher (Halcyon malimbica)
He’s not just the owner of Beakclub for Birds, he’s also a client.
Bighorn Sheep (Ovis canadensis)
Everyone needs a pillow.
Western Green Mamba (Dendroaspis viridis)
Q: How can’t you measure a snake?
A: In feet.
Q: What do you call a snake who works for the government?
A: A civil serpent.
Q: What do you call a snake that’s very polite?
A: A civil serpent.
Q: Why did the zoo’s breeding program have to replace all their plastic pedestals with wooden ones?
A: Because adders can only multiply with a log table.
Q: Why did the snake see Gone With The Wind in the theater?
A: She really liked the book.
Q: How did the snakes get out of jail?
A: They scaled the wall.
Ha!
Titi
At night, when the zoo is closed, the titi monkeys make edgy films on old 16mm cameras that they buy off of eBay.
Sign
The fact that animals bite you when you do things wrong should be warning enough, frankly.
Sign
Not only was this a common enough problem to require a sign, it was common enough to require the sign to be in two languages *and* needed a hotline.
Granted, this is from a state that recently decided to legalize certain passtimes.
Flamingo 2
A nearby explosion shuddered the trees and she dove for cover and turned off her gear. Seconds later, leaves and twigs fell like shrapnel as the triad hunting her scampered amongst the branches. They’d been seeking her for weeks but she was getting even better at hiding than she had in the city, but then she’d had to learn. The triads were crafty. They were fast. They were nimble.
They could out-run her, out-climb her, and out-swim her. If she didn’t find a way to get some sleep and a decent meal, they’d be out-thinking her and then it would all be over. So there she hung, in the tree, doing her counts as the triad moved past. She had the count down. She’d seen four claws, three horns, two tails, then counted out one full minute. The pattern held and she sensed she was safe enough. She slithered out of the hollow tree to join him.
They’d been connected by the deepest magic and so he was strongest at the turning points. Midnight, of course, and both dusk – from the instant when the sun touched the earth to when it vanished from sight entirely – to dawn, when it reversed. Everyone knew these turning points, but he was teaching her that magic was point of view and she was learning how to see.
There was magic in the moment between when the frog leapt when its trailing foot disappeared beneath the ripples, the entire world holding its breath. There was magic in the moment between the gust of wind and when the dandelion gave up its courage, letting seeds fly. London was still a long way off, but she hoped there would be magic in the city still … maybe in the moment between when the fog blurred the lampposts and the moment they disappeared. Maybe she could do something with that brief moment of imbalance when her shoe miscaught a cobble and she weren’t entire sure that she weren’t going to fall. If it hadn’t been destroyed in The Flash, she had hopes to find power in the chimes of Big Ben. However, until she got there, she’d never know. She laughed a little as she thought about yesterday’s test, confirming that one of the longest turnings was starting. It made perfect sense, after all. The sun always seemed to hang there forever, but no one ever spoke of the magic of noon.
She joined her friend, her secret weapon, in the clearing.
He was many things to her – a friend when she needed one, her only confidant, a mentor, a child, and during those few moments when her fear dropped away, a playmate. They’d been practicing though in a few minutes he’d be more. He’d have to be if they were going to escape the seekings … even if just for a little while. Tonight, he would become her steed.
He was waiting for her.
She stood beside him and they watched the shadows. Then, as expected, the sun stalled, and Alice rode her flamingo up and out of the triad’s hunting grounds.
African Assassin Bug (platymeris biguttata)
Wikipedia is not helpful in explaining why this bug is called an assassin bug. It does not describe the guild to which these bugs must belong. It neither tells you how to take out a contract on someone nor how to talk your way out of it should an assassin bug contract be taken out on you. There is no mention of the poisons or blades that might be used. No, instead, Wikipedia has this to say:
“Though spectacular exceptions are known, most members of the family are fairly easily recognizable; they have a relatively narrow neck, sturdy build, and formidable curved proboscis.”
Which means that not only do you live in a world with assassin bugs that may strike from nowhere, but someone look different enough from the others to be considered “spectacular exceptions”. We know nothing more. They may look like other bugs. They may look like cats. They may look like dogs. They may look like a lamp, a burrito, or even that thing right behind you there … did it just move?
Lesser Spot Nosed Monkey (Cercopithecus petaurista)
The Institut Alpin Videmanette in Rougemont is, sadly, not effective for everyone.
Lion (Panthera Leo)
She’s preparing her husband’s dinner. hoping to make him blind. Little does she know that soon, she shall drown.
Koala (Phascolarctos cinereus)
This koala disapproves of your music, your movies, and your games because they do not match the values with which he was raised. He does not understand the technology you use or what you do with it. He misses having a job that he liked where he was more important that most everyone else. He wants the world to go back to the way he remembers it being, even though it was never that way and his memories have been carefully forged by a deliberately shoddy educational system and untrustworthy media.
This koala has been abandoned by the systems created to protect him. He has been abandoned by those who used to spend time with him. He has been abandoned by those who could try to understand his concerns and help him to make sense of the deluge of changes he faces. He feels worthless and confused … and he hates that feeling.
This koala has many friends who feel exactly the same way and who have nothing to do during the long, slow, and lonely Tuesdays.
This koala is going to vote for that rhetoric that is understandable to someone who feels lost in this new, scary, world and is afraid of further change. No amount of discussion will change his mind because, to him, there only one who seems to care. Lectures will not change his mind. Logic will not change his mind. Impassioned pleas will not change his mind.
Listening might.
Kagu (Rhynochetos jubatus)
This is the kagu, an endangered bird from New Caledonia. It is apparently the only bird to develop “nasal corns”, or those things on its beat that cover the nostrils. Wikipedia is careful to specify “only bird”, which means that I am now envisioning fish and mastadons with nasal corns.
Indian Elephant (Elephas maximus indicus)
It is common for young elephants to be asked to learn the “Little Teapot” dance before they are allowed to advance to more complex routines such as The Hokey Pokey, The Electric Slide, or Limon’s Moor’s Pavane.
I chose not to photograph the handle.
Guanaco (Lama guanicoe)
Not a weeble.
Great Argus (Argusianus argus)
This is the great argus. You may wonder why there is no lesser argus.
Hermes slew it on Zeus’s order.
The ancient Greeks screwed up all of our taxonomy. That’s why we had to fix it with Latin.