Turns out, coordinating the proper timing of a plane, the moon, and the earth is somewhat challenging.

One of the most famous stories about eclipses involves Christopher Columbus representing himself as a god to some natives when they decided that he’d been a rather poor guest*. He claimed to be able to hide the moon and only let it return to the sky after the natives agreed to continue feeding the his men. However, in order for this story to make sense, you must assume that the natives had never seen a lunar eclipse before. Since there are two lunar eclipses each year, which can be seen from the entire night-side of the Earth, this seems like a bit of a stretch*. Even assuming that some nights are cloudy and that different sides of the Earth are in darkness during different eclipses, it’s hard to believe that everyone in the village over the age of ten hadn’t seen at least one eclipse in their lives.

Thus, one must logically conclude that Christopher Columbus was lording his European power over a group of amnesiacs, a group of children, or was a liar … none of which reflect favorably upon him.

History, after all, is written by the winners.

* This is what writing instructors refer to as “ironic understatement”.

This is Aldo Leopold’s shack. If you had to live here, you’d probably also have spent all your time wandering around outside and might have written a world changing book as well.

In the US, to keep idiots from climbing historical landmarks and falling to their deaths, we block off the stairs and put up fences.

In Ireland, they just remove the railings, figuring that anyone that stupid probably wouldn’t live very long anyway.

One advantage of having a liberal arts degree is that I am not restricted. Thanks to cross disciplinary studies, I have expertise in all fields. Even though it’s been quite some time since I earned my degree, I am still fully competent to combine my Art, Science, History, and Literature knowledge to bring you this translation of the mosaic.

___The Journey___

Late one night(1) on the lunar seas of moon(2), time travelers(3) from a period of racial harmony(4) arrived disguised as a dragon(5).
The native peoples of this land, afraid the visitors, hid in the Monk Bar(6). They avoided starvation by eating fish and noodles(7).
However, the food ran out and the natives had to send David Chokachi(8) for help.
David fell through a time portal and found himself swimming towards Oshi Castle(9), in 1590, after it was besieged by the Phoenicians(10).
He dove to the bottom of the sea and hauled up their anchor(11), freeing them to join him in fighting the future invaders.
The beacon(12) was lit back home, illuminating the rough temporal bridge(13) back to his own time.
The invaders’ ship was destroyed, scattering them across(14) the time stream.
Only two were able to return to their own time, in an escape pod(15).
Their attempts to study primate evolution(16) were foiled and they would have to try again.

___Good scholars show their work___

1) You can tell it’s night because of the waxing crescent Earth.
2) We know it took place on the moon because the moon is smaller than the Earth, so the moon’s shadow cast on the Earth would be smaller than the disk.
3) The ship suggests travel, while the raven who calls “cras cras”, or “tomorrow” in Latin, indicates that they come from the future.
4) Racial harmony of the future can be told from the combined, alternating red and white stripes on the sail.
5) We know it was a disguise, because the last dragon was seen on March 22, 1985, and could not have been present in the future.
6) Indicated by the portcullis.
7) The use of rotini in their diet places the time of contact in the 17th century.
8) OK. I had to look that one up.
9) Also known as the floating fortress.
10) We know it was the Phoenicians, because they were one of the first ship builders, so it makes sense that they created these fortresses. This was the 22nd, and last such fortress made, indicated by the letter Taw on the sail.
11) This was made easier as Oshi Castle was anchored using a stock anchor, so the diver need only tilt the anchor vertically and it could be pulled free.
12) The use of yellow in the beacon references the god of time travelers, Krishna, known for the saying “Have you within no time, forgotten”, protecting the traveler from paradox.
13) The arch bridge is not complete, so the journey was likely quite difficult.
14) The people are represented as gulls(17) throughout the mosaic.
15) Represented as a lifeboat.
16) We know they were studying primates because of the man in the yellow hat.
17) The fact that the artist chose to represent the time travelers as gulls shows that they were opportunistic, but adaptable and likely survived the destruction of their ship.

We’re taking a short break from zoo animals to go through some photos I took in Ireland last year.

This is a statue of Constance Markievicz. If she had been American, you’d probably know more about her. You might want to check out her Wikipedia page if you want to learn a bit more than the pedestal conveys. A few teaser quotes:

Advice on fashion: “Dress suitably in short skirts and strong boots, leave your jewels in the bank and buy a revolver.”

Request to the court: “I do wish your lot had the decency to shoot me”

View of her nearing death: “among the poor where she wanted to be”