Leopard posing with the traditional fourth birthday barrel.
Superb Starling
Starling wondering why no one every tracks dirt *out* of the house.
Taveta Golden Weaver
Taveta golden weaver inspecting the landing gear.
Western Plantain Eater
Plantain Eater that believes that there was, in fact, something Bonnie Tyler could do. Yes, emotions can cloud one’s heart, but clouds can block eclipses as well.
Perhaps a more nuanced view of life’s emotions were warranted.
Lappet Faced Vulture
The internet tells me that a “lappet” is “a small decorative flap or fold”.
Henceforth, it’s not that I stay up too late. It’s that I am developing lappety eyes … you know, for decoration.
Giant River Otter
In a world with smartphones, smart watches, smartcards, and Smart Cars, this giant river otter doesn’t see the point in studying.
Harris Hawk
Harris hawk with the emperor’s new wine glass.
Amazon Tree Frog
This frog is glad that Comcast pulled out of the Disney/Marvel/Fox merger fight, because it would have been boring to watch Thanos spend fifteen minutes gathering the Xfinity Stones and two hours trying to remember his password.
Impressed Tortoise
Impressed tortoise is not … well, not with you, anyway.
Burmese Star Tortoise
The Burmese star tortoise is critically endangered because the natives of Myanmar can feed their family for a year by capturing and selling one on the black market. Being caught risks seven years of jail … but it’s hard to get caught.
When I talk of economic inequality as a threat, this is the sort of thing I mean.
* formerly Burma**
** formerly Toungoo***
*** formerly Ava****, Hanthawaddy****,† and Shan****
**** formerly Pagan*****
***** formerly Pyu and Mon city-states******
****** formerly unnamed iron, bronze, and stone age societies*******
******* formerly******** molten rock incapable of supporting human life
******** extremely formerly
† Where do commas†† go in relation to superscript footnote indications?†††
†† Does it matter if they are Oxford†††† commas?
††† The online guides do not agree‡, suggesting conflicts between US and UK English as well as differences between style guides
†††† Do other schools have their own commas?
‡ Well, they do all agree that footnotes should be used sparingly and only when needed‡‡
‡‡ They are, of course, wrong about that
Giant Wood Rail
Personally, I don’t think you should be allowed to call an animal a “giant” unless they’re at least twice as big as the average human.
Spotted Wobbegong
The books say these are also called “carpet sharks” because of their striking patterning, but I have to believe that the fact that they lay on the bottom of the ocean floor has something to do with it as well.
Vulturine Guinea
Vulturine Guinea wondering how a single person walking barefoot on gravel could have been inspired to invent both Legos and D&D dice.
Ring Tailed Cat
This is one of the harder critters to photograph. You have to use flash, but they’re active, so you have to track them in the dark and hope that everything works when you push the trigger.
This is one of the better photos I’ve gotten of them, but I’m a bit disappointed that you can’t see the tail.
(P.S. they’re not really cats, they’re just called that)
Red Fronted Macaw
Sideburns are a hard look to pull off.
Cape Barren Goose
Sraml, Christidis, Easteal, Horn and Collet, in their work “Molecular Relationships Within Australasian Waterfowl” call the Cape Barren Goose “a most peculiar goose of uncertain affiliations”
This is exactly you should never vote to confirm one for the supreme court.
Ocellated Turkey
I think we need more ocellated animals, whatever their type.
Azure Winged Magpie
Having caught up on the last week’s worth of news, this magpie is mostly just disappointed to learn that the Russian secret agents aren’t anything like Marvel’s Black Widow.
You needn’t be brilliant, multi-lingual, extensively trained in physical combat, various weapons, psychological manipulation, etc. No. To take down the US government, you just have to be young, attractive, and target an older Republican man.
The magpie is not surprised to learn this, just disappointed.
Pigeon
Pigeon starring in the less well known counter-play “Godot’s GPS Receives Bad Data”.
Cheetah
This cheetah had heard it all before and doesn’t believe that this time will be any different.