In this rare photo of a robin being spontaneously generated suggests that the egg did not, in fact, come first.
Category Archives: Lie
Giant Freshwater Prawn (Macrobrachium rosenbergii)
Giant freshwater prawns aren’t all that impressed with modern HDTV’s.
American White Pelican (Pelecanus erythrorhynchos)
You forgot to depress the lever, didn’t you?
Dalmatian Pelican (Pelecanus crispus)
When put into Park, the pelican’s bill is locked in place, preventing accidental slippage. Before changing gears, it is imperative to depress the lever and safely unlock the bill. Otherwise, the bill can become damaged.
American Turkey (Meleagris gallopavo)
When forced to fight, the American turkey can deploy it’s razor-sharp feathers to help convince predators to pursue easier prey.
Western Banded Gecko (Coleonyx variegates)
Western banded geckos are a common choice for beginner lizard climbers. This is largely due to the easy footholds, the relatively low slope and the easily accessible resting cave that can serve as a basecamp.
Bird
It’s hard to get a mate as a bird. You must keep your feathers in perfect order, defend your territory, and have a perfect song. You must excel in your conformity.
Some birds, however, give up on the process completely and build their own mate. Piece. By. Piece.
Gerenuk (Litocranius walleri)
I was a little too slow with the camera and just missed the big pillow fight. It’s a shame, really. It would have been a fantastic photo.
Brown Pelican (Pelecanus occidentalis)
Pelicans prefer white meat.
Cheetah (Acinonyx jubatus)
A-frame cheetahs are inexpensive to build and provide both stability and speed of construction.
Golden Breasted Starling (Cosmopsarus regius)
If you fall asleep while colouring and leave the crayons on top of the radiator, they melt and run, making the whole radiator pretty. This is what happens if you leave the crayons on a starling.
Spectacled Bear (Tremarctos ornatus)
Did you really leave the house wearing that?
Detection
Humans think they’re all smart and stuff, but what if the aliens tunnel their way in?
Cactus
The second invasion was more successful. Instead of blinding the humans, they came at night, armed and armored. Those that ran, tripped and were skewered. Those that fought, fell beneath the onslaught of spines and ever marching roots. The bullets did not stop them, flesh healing over into hardened knots, protecting them againt further violation. They were impervious to drought, to heat. And, as the humans made their planet ever warmer, eventually the next generation of triffids ruled over all.
Cactus
As dusk falls, and the last gleam of the setting sun casts itself over the desert, cactus wrens tell their hatchlings bedtime stories and hope that the rains will fall before they fledge.
Red Cornsnake (Pantherophis guttatus)
This snake’s scales overlap everywhere but on the head. This keeps costs low when trying to find the source of a leak.
Gray Fox (Urocyon cinereoargenteus)
Wikipedia says “The gray fox appeared during the mid Pliocene epoch 3.6 million years ago.” That must have been quite the surprise to the Irish elk.
And probably, to the foxes as well.
Ball Python (Python regius)
Not having exterior ears on which to hook the elastic, snakes must wear their party masks on their sides.
Grey Fox (Urocyon cinereoargenteus)
“Mmm, marmalade. Yep, pretty sure that was marmalade.”
Rose Hair Tarantula (Grammostola rosea)
According to The Language of Flowers, this orange and pale peach rose (hair tarantula) is intended to convey modest fascination. The different colours have strong historic meanings, so keep that mind the next time you make an arachnid bouquet.