Whooping cranes like to tell jokes:
A fully vaccinated person and a non-vaccinated person walk into a bar. Six weeks later, the non-vaccinated person’s grandparents die.
Whooping crane jokes aren’t all that funny.
Category Archives: Bird
Rockhopper Penguin
This penguin understands that everyone makes mistakes, but observes that some sure do seem to make a lot more of them than others.
Whooping Crane
This crane had a witty, relatable, and terse observation on human nature, but has decided to keep it to itself in the interest of retaining friendships.
Penguin
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Eagles
Turns out that adding those little spikes to things don’t always keep birds away.
Violet Turaco
I have a theory that these birds would shine brightly when viewed in the UV spectrum. So I got a UV camera and special lens to find out.
Turns out all the zoos keep them indoors, carefully shielded from all UV light.
Pied Cormorant
Unlike our Northern cormorants, this one has contour shading, implying the existence of a predator that attacks from below as they swim or fly.
Eh, it’s Australia. Seems legit.
Red Legged Seriema
This seriema is upset that the book he was writing on the freedom of companies to do what they want has been canceled by his publisher.
Pied Imperial Pigeons
It’s okay. They each have their own COVID bubble.
Fulvous Breasted Woodpecker
This woodpecker has spent several hours linking WordPress to Facebook and misses the days when the Internet was simpler and less monetized.
Bald Eagles
As a representative of the USA, this eagle would really like to see people getting back to work.
Also, did you know that while eagles do hunt, they are also carrion eaters?
Barn Owl
Crows spend much of their time considering various trolley problems, but mostly the one involving why humans insist on such philosophically-dangerous modes of transport.
Rhea
While I would prefer that wild animals not have to live in captivity, I support zoos because, first there’s not a lot of wild left and second, this bird would not survive in the wild.
You can make an argument that this bird shouldn’t survive and that evolution punishes accident-prone individuals in the same way it does genetics that don’t fit the environment. However, you can also make an argument that humans are altering the environment more quickly that evolutionary processes can adapt and that without a compensating mechanism, we will lose the majority of our biodiversity.
Both arguments are true. Only one applies to our lives and the lives of those we care about.
Hamerkop
This hamerkop would like to wish humanity a happy 50th anniversary of moon landing conspiracy theories.
Bird
This bird is against vaccinations because three times as many people die from car crashes than from guns, and even more die from bad chemicals in the body*. This bird is bad at science and math, but pretty good at the Internet.
* It’s true! – https://www.iii.org/fact-statistic/facts-statistics-mortality-risk
Nicobar Pigeon
This pigeon is disappointed to realize that most people only care about a smoking gun if it happens to be pointing in their general direction.
Bird
Side effects of foraging can include dry mouth.
Magnificent Frigatebird
This Magnificent Frigatebird was injured in Hurricane Harvey and is the only captive member of its species in the world (to the best of mine and the aquarium’s knowledge)
While I hope to see some when I eventually travel down to Antarctica, it was nice to see one a bit closer to home.
Bearded Barbet
This barbet knows you’re there, but is refusing to acknowledge your presence because it still remembers the off colour joke you told at a party seven years ago.