O madam, yonder’s my lord your son with a patch of
velvet on’s face: whether there be a scar under’t
or no, the velvet knows; but ’tis a goodly patch of
velvet: his left cheek is a cheek of two pile and a
half, but his right cheek is worn bare.
Images
Self Portrait With Leaf Hopper
Green and Black Poison Frog (Dendrobates auratus)
Though normally quite meticulous, you can when frog painters are working on a Friday afternoon.
White Spot Anemone Shrimp (Periclimenes brevicarpalis)
When making a shrimp, you pretty much just poke a bunch of little sticks into the body until it doesn’t look like a shrimp anymore. Then you take that last one out and call it done.
Green Anaconda (Eunectes murinus)
“Yo pretty snakiess ’round the worldss
Got a weird thingss to show yass
So tell all the lil snakeletss
Tell your brothersss, your sistersss and your mammasss too
‘Cause we’re about to go downss
And youss knows just whatss to do
Wave your tonguesss in the air like yousss don’t care
Glide by the peoplesss as they startsss to looksss and staresss
Do your squeezesss, do your squeezesss, do your squeezesss quick mammasss
Come snakeletsss tell me what’s the wordsss
Wordssssss upssssss.”
Bicolor Poison Frog (Phyllobates bicolor)
Some frogs will move their young from pond to pond or up trees to small pools of water in bromeliads. They do this by sticking them on their back and carrying them one-by-one to where they need to go.
This process can take a long time, so these frogs don’t see many movies until their brood has grown up.
Peacock Mantis Shrimp (Odontodactylus scyllarus)
The peacock mantis shrimp has the most interesting eyes anywhere in the animal kingdom. If you don’t believe me, ask The Oatmeal: http://theoatmeal.com/comics/mantis_shrimp.
Panda (Ailuropoda melanoleuca)
Once they become successful with using two sticks in two hands, they progress with two in one. Then, they practice with smaller and smaller sticks. Eventually, when the sticks become sufficiently small, pandas may begin to to eat rice, greatly expanding their possible range.
Oriental Fire-fellied Toad (Bombina orientalis)
Sometimes it can be hard to tell where the frog ends and the pond begins. This is why we have biologists.
Great Land Crab (Cardisoma guanhumi)
He’s knows all the other kids will respect him more once his mustache comes in, but it sure is taking its own sweet time doing so.
Grand Cayman Iguana (Cyclura Lewisi)
This grand cayman iguana can’t remember that word.
Giant Vinegaroon (Mastigoproctus giganteus)
Like everyone else, they’re just looking for someone to hug.
False Water Cobra (Hydrodynastes gigas)
After a long day away, false water cobras show their appreciation for your return by barking and licking your face. True water cobras react rather differently.
Brown Pelican (Pelecanus occidentalis)
They went through a lot of pelicans before they evolved the ability to float.
Well that’s answered
In this rare photo of a robin being spontaneously generated suggests that the egg did not, in fact, come first.
Cuban Crocodile (Crocodylus rhombifer)
With the embargo lifted, the Cuban crocodile knows it’s just a matter of time and their plans will reach fruition. They’ve been patient this long. They wait a little longer.
Giant Freshwater Prawn (Macrobrachium rosenbergii)
Giant freshwater prawns aren’t all that impressed with modern HDTV’s.
Bird Noir
The sharp knock at the door drew me from my stupor. Still half asleep, I knocked my whiskey bottle from my desk, and heard it shatter on the floor. “Great”, I thought, “unless that’s a client, last night will my last for a while”. It seemed harder and harder to make a living in this crazy town. There’s only so many cheating husbands for me to track, so many murders I could trace before the mob realized what I knew and came after me.
It was a hard line to walk. I couldn’t blame Tony’s organization outright, and the subtle hints I’d dropped went nowhere. No surprise, really, as Tony owned the cops too. I was beginning to suspect that he had also been behind the somewhat suspicious “disappearances” of some of my more recent cases … and clients. Maybe it was time to call it quits, escape this life and start over in Florida. It was warm in Florida. You didn’t find your clients floating down the river in Florida. Florida would be nice.
I opened the door to yell out “I’m retired”. Then I saw her. A bird no other. She kept her distance and wouldn’t look me in the eye. All she said was “I got your name from a friend. I don’t have anyone else to turn too”. Then she tossed a bundle of cash in my direction with “That should cover two weeks. Details are in the envelope.”
Then she flew away.
As I watched her fly, the wind moving over her feathers in a way I hadn’t in oh so long, and I thought, “One more. I’ll take one more case and then retire.”
Amur tiger (Panthera tigris altaica)
Now would be a bad time to be a pig.
#justsayin
White-cheeked Gibbon (Nomascus leucogenys)
This gibbon just realized that it’s been over a decade since we had a new episode of Star Trek.