This kinkajou is sad because you’re not laughing at her joke about John Challis, George Campbell, and “The Fruits of Philosophy”. She wonders if it’s too soon.
Tag Archives: Assiniboine Park Zoo – Winnipeg
White’s Tree Frog (Litoria caerulea)
When you’re making a frog, you can pretty much just stick the eyes in any which way. It’ll all work out fine.
Bat
Bats like to live in caves. It can take a colony of one hundred bats an entire year to carve out a cave large enough for their young. It is important to put bat houses up in your yard to shelter members of the colony as they create their permanent home.
Snowy Owl (Bubo scandiacus)
Snowy owls often have trust issues.
Kinkajou (Potos flavus)
This is a kinkajou. No joke I can make here is better than what you’re thinking right now.
Yes, that’s right. Kinkajous can psychically implant humor in your brain.
Throwback Thursday!
This fish tastes like lettuce. It should be thrown back.
Common Squirrel Monkey (Saimiri sciureus)
In times of extreme danger, the common squirrel monkey rolls itself into a ball and bounces away to freedom.
Electric Phoenix
Early in the morning, this electric phoenix flies to the Ives Dairy Substation and plugs a single feather from its breast to re-kindle the power for the day. Every ten years, the phoenix runs out of feathers and combusts. From the residue of the substation, a new phoenix arises and flies off to a different land so its various citizens may watch reality TV and create blended fruit drinks.
Cane Toad (Rhinella marina)
In the early days of the world, there was naught but dirt, water, mud and grass. Kuwatuwan The Uninspired, creator of the Darien isthmus (construction projects involve a lot of outsourcing) sat and thought. As he thought, he toyed with the mud and dirt, forming it into a small pile. Looking down on what he made, he smiled. Then he sneezed. Having inadvertently breathed life into his creation, he blinked slowly as the toad flopped out of his hand and hopped away. Kuwatuwan looked about to make sure his supervisor wasn’t looking his way. Noticing that she was distracted overseeing Pacific Ring of Fire, he nudged the toad under a large clump of grass and wandered off to work on his next assignment … digging the Himalayan sea.
A while later, the toads were taken to Australia to eat the grey-backed cane and Frenchi beetles. Because introducing animals in Australia always goes well.
Indian Flying Fox (Pteropus giganteus)
If your lettuce has become infested with bats, you should completely remove it from the house before getting more.
Ocelot (Leopardus pardalis)
The margay’s spots make it a master of disguise. If it’s stalking you, you’ll never see it in time. Here, if you look closely, you can see the camouflaged cat sneaking up on you from the bottom left hand side of the screen. It’s plan is for you to be completely distracted by the ocelot on the right.
Cotton-top Tamarin (Saguinus oedipus)
Tamarins like to eat sweet things. In India, they soak the tamarins in warm water, then, after removing them, boil the water so it reduces to a nice sweet brown sauce. Tamarin sauce goes well with papadums.
Black-tailed Prairie Dog performing Romeo and Juliet
“Tis an ill cook that cannot lick his own fingers.”
Black-tailed Prairie Dog performing King Henry IV part 2
“Let him be damned, like the glutton! pray God his tongue be hotter!”
Scarlet Ibis (Eudocimus ruber)
Ibises have evolved a curved bill so they can more easily remove keys that have dropped down storm grates. Scarlet ibises are the leading cause of car thefts on the Northern coast of South America.
Australian Green Tree Frog (Litoria caerulea)
The sticky skin and wide toes of the Australian green tree frog make it very easy for it to climb branches and very difficult for it to play the mandolin.
Ground Squirrel
Here we see the mighty Misponyotin creating a cool summer breeze.
Greater Flamingo (Phoenicopterus roseus)
Greater flamingo isn’t feeling so great, actually.
Common Squirrel Monkey (Saimiri sciureus)
com·mon (ˈkämən/)
adjective
1. occurring, found, or done often; prevalent. –
“salt and pepper are the two most common seasonings”
2. showing a lack of taste and refinement; vulgar.
“they are far too common”
Guess which one of these applies to monkeys.
Here’s a hint. Look out your window. See any monkeys?
Black-tailed Prairie Dog performing Hamlet
Denmark’s a prison. A goodly one, in which there are many confines, wards and dungeons, Denmark being one o’ the worst.