Notice how none of them are swimming towards the camera? They’re all throwing themselves back.
In the Amazon, there is a high- and a low-water season. In the low water season, the water flow is much slower and it comes from much nearer than the mountain highlands. This means that the water where we were is poorly oxygenated, so the fish swim to the surface to get the oxygen they need. This results in rivers of fish within rivers of mud. A cornucopia of fish, if you will.
This fish has overexercised for fin-wrestling and has probably been on steriods. It is not safe to eat and should be thrown back.
This fish just read the article about hot dog ingredients and isn’t currently safe to eat. It should be thrown back.
This fish has already had a long week and is throwing herself back.
These fish are clearly too spicy. They should be thrown back.
This fish is much too small to eat and should be thrown back.
Yeah, sure, it looks pretty big, but remember, the camera adds ten pounds.
It appears as though this fish may be infected with a neurological disease. Since many of these diseases are caused by prions which can infect humans, it should not be eaten.
This tilapia, while being perfectly fit for human consumption, is currently located inside a shark and might be rather dangerous to access. It should be thrown back.
This royal gramma inadvertently brushed its tail against against King Midas and will soon be completely unsuitable to eat. It should be thrown back.
This fish might be a goby. It might be something else. It might be defending its burrow, it might be advertising for a mate. If it is advertising for a mate, it might decide to be either male or female, or it might decide to sneak into someone else’s mating session and provide a contribution. Frankly, there is too much uncertainty involving this fish and it should be thrown back. (Though if it’s a frillfin goby, it might jump back, so check for that first.)
This fish has a distinctive mustache. It experiments with surrealistic painting and sculpture, makes unintelligible films and engages in multilingual puns. You don’t want to be eating that. Throw it back.
This fish has clearly developed water-igniting telekinetic abilities and is too dangerous to eat. It should be thrown back.
This fish is clearly too into the noir scene. It likely holds a very limited and sexist view of the world. It should be thrown back until it matures enough to provide a positive contribution to society.
This fish …
Umm, this fish is …
Frankly, this fish is just really creepy.
Best throw it back.
Even though I don’t know what it is, I’m going to take a wild guess and say “It’s got weird looking antenna parts, a bizarre mouth, strange spindly and spikey legs and it spends its time making out with flowers. Whatever you’re thinking, don’t eat it. Throw it back!”
The cloudy eyes indicate that this fish was caught during a month with an “R” in it. It is not safe to eat and should be thrown back.
This fish obviously has a lot of growing to do. It should be untangled from the bait and thrown back.
Despite having a triple riveted multi-compartmentalized hull, this duck suffered a collision and is now taking on water. As containment has been broken, it is not safe to eat and should be thrown back.
This fish tastes like lettuce. It should be thrown back.