Remember that write in votes are an option.
Chester A. Arthur wants a second term.
This finch has some questions about America’s upcoming election
– Wouldn’t it be weird to move back into a house you lived in sixteen years ago?
– Shouldn’t people have to fill out a job application and go through a background check before they get to this level? Everyone else does for their jobs.
– Are bribery payments tax deductible?
– Why is no one talking about their pets? #firstpetsmatter
– Really? I mean … really?
Never said they were good questions (except that last one).
Stalking the dark-stormed land, he wonders if he truly is the last.
The war had been vicious. Much had been lost. He had lost his family. He had lost his friends. He had lost his very home.
But had he lost everything? Were there none like him? Was he to eke out the remainder of his days as the last shining remnant of a forgotten world?
He didn’t know. All he could do was what he had done, traveling, looking for hope. Hope that the next century would not draw to a close as last had … leaving him forever alone and lost in a corrupt and corrupting land.
And so, for one more day, he walked.
At some point in history, the following conversation must have occurred:
“So let’s see here, we’ve already got the vampire bat, vampire finch, vampire squirrel, vampire moth, vampire squid, vampire flying frogs, and Dracula ants. What should we call this critter?”
“How about ‘tufted deer’?”
“Yeah, that sounds ’bout right.”