Wonder if Enya would have sung “Let me sail, let me sail, let me crash upon your shore” if she knew who lived there.
Galapagos Tortoise
Tortoise pondering whether it really counts as “wanting to save the world” when what you really want to do is utterly destroy very specific pieces of it.
Bornean Bearded Hog
I was pretty excited to see these hogs in Texas as I’d never seen this species before.
of course, a few months later I just happened to stumble across the same species in the London Zoo.
Black Spotted Newt
In 1880, the Black Spotted Newt (Notophthalmus meridionalis) was scientifically described by Edward Cope (Homo sapiens) who spent several minutes trying to clean them before he realized they were a new species.
Bird
Bird paralyzed with confusion over whether or not one can have “a smithereen”.
Muellers Gibbon
Sometimes you capture a great moment with the wrong lens.
Sometimes it works out anyway.
Rattlesnake
This snake is upset.
This snake did not put in all those years* snake school**, rising*** through the snake ranks at work, only to be stymied days before he was to get supreme power by someone who dared**** to remember***** things.
This snake feels he is owed supreme power. He needs supreme power. Without supreme power how will he ever be able to alter the rights of mice?
—
* Four years at snake prep school, four years at regular snake school, and three years at fancy-ass super snake school for rich snakes
** Well, they call it snake school, but there seems to be a lot more snake partying than snake studying. Just an observation from looking at calendars and such.
*** Really, for rich snakes from fancy-ass snake schools, “rising” is really just about not screwing up too publicly so you can get the next job handed to you.
**** The nerve of some people.
***** Anecdotal evidence would suggest that this snake might not remember things as well as other snakes. In the interest of fairness, I will not blame the snake for this as the snake might not remember that the snake has a memory problem.
Harnessed Bushbuck Antelope
Smells tasty.
Black Spider Monkey
During times like these, it can be difficult to distinguish mothering from smothering.
Alligator
This alligator is in favor of whatever stupid and cruel thing the government has recently decided to do, because desperate people make good eatin’.
(I made the post in advance but these days it’s not hard to be topical.)
African Crowned Crane
Crane explaining why you shouldn’t worry about the coming economic crash predicted to be ‘worse than the great depression’:
“No, see, the Panama Papers showed us that the rich people have been moving their money overseas for decades, so the vast majority of the world’s monetary supply will be fine. Oh, your money? Your money that’s trapped in the United States? Yeah, that’s going to be worthless, but there’s no point in worrying about it because those same rich people have placed strong barriers in place preventing you from doing anything about it. Since there’s nothing you can do, why worry?”
Cranes aren’t terribly useful economic advisors.
Duckweed
In infrared, duckweed is white* and ducks are invisible**.
* Well, the sensor interprets it as “white”. Colours, even white, are tricky when you’re talking about non-visible light.
**Not really.
African Frog
Republican senator being reminded that women are people.
Bear
Bear pondering the fact that we had telegrams, then 140 character texts, then 140 character tweets with extensions (retweets, links, photos, etc), then doubled – and people are still writing “threads”.
Their minds will be blown when they discover paragraphs and essays.
City
It’s like some tripped and spilled their bucket of buildings
Mountain
Mountains usually stay put because they’re very sensitive and don’t want to destroy all the neat stuff we’ve built. They’ll wait until our bedtime and then sweep it all up when we’re not paying attention.
Air
Ten internet points to the person that first finds this on Google Earth.
Trilobite
I saw a documentary that suggested that they used a light acid to dissolve the soft rock away from a fossil like this, but I never understood how they figured out the fossil was in there in the first place.
Air
Cloud computing sounds cool, but you have to remember that clouds are one small part of the entire water cycle.
Remember to put bounds on your fractal generation scripts to prevent data leaks.
Passenger Pigeon
I prefer to photograph the living creatures instead of taxidermy. But once they’re gone, they’re gone.