I now have a brand new “fuzzy logic” rice cooker that has the ability to make perfect rice every time. In addition to fancy electronics, simplified user interface, and (strangely) the ability to play a children’s song whenever you turn it on, it has a retractable power cord … just like my mom’s vacuum cleaner had back in the early 80’s and snake tongues have had for one hundred million years. #cuttingedgetechnology
They had been best friends for years. They thought they would be friends forever. Then came the fateful day of the hike.
It had started as a pleasant day. They’d wandered the mountains, enjoying the scenery and conversation. Near the top of one mountain, she’d wanted to get a better view. He was worried about going out too far. Laughing, she teased him as she wandered out onto the cliff, dancing near the edge. His heart turned over as he saw her step on a loose rock, anger turning to fear.
As she slipped, he lunged forward, laying belly-flat on the cliff as he reached over to grab her, just missing her hand. She reached up to him as her left hand gave way and she fell, staring up at him in disappointment and sadness.
That is, until she remembered they were both turtles and swam back up to the cliff’s face. They laughed about the situation and decided that they would actually stay friends forever.
To hunt at night, many snakes have evolved the ability to sense heat via infrared radiation. However, those that lack this capability have learned to tie lanterns to their heads to aid in nighttime hunting. Sadly, they have found that the string either chafe their mouths or prevent them from opening their jaws to their full capacity.
Thus, a small number of snakes have evolved protuberences on the front of their faces to which they may attach their lanterns without reducing their predatory efficacy.
“Yo pretty snakiess ’round the worldss
Got a weird thingss to show yass
So tell all the lil snakeletss
Tell your brothersss, your sistersss and your mammasss too
‘Cause we’re about to go downss
And youss knows just whatss to do
Wave your tonguesss in the air like yousss don’t care
Glide by the peoplesss as they startsss to looksss and staresss
Do your squeezesss, do your squeezesss, do your squeezesss quick mammasss
Come snakeletsss tell me what’s the wordsss
He doesn’t like being old.
He is upset at how the world has changed.
He hates the kids today.
He is angry that the lifestyles he was not permitted in his youth are now considered acceptable.
He doesn’t understand why his jokes aren’t funny anymore.
He dislikes today’s music, television, and movies.
If you think about it, since snakes lay eggs that are much smaller than the actual snake, very tiny snakes must be what hatches out of them. However, until a little snake like this, it’s really hard to understand. This snake could fit inside a regular fast food straw. It’s long and curly but, really really tiny. The Internet suggest they can grow to about a foot in length, and this critter was about six inches long, so it was half grown … which means it started even smaller.
That’s right, you’re living in a world full of little teeny tiny snakes that you never even see.