This gorilla was trying to write a report, but ABBA came up on the playlist, so he went to see what they were up to and discovered that they will be launching a “hologram” project in 2019, but the word hologram can mean different things. After reading up on it, he’s decided that their “hologram” project will likely involve digital recreations that are presented in a 3D form via some sort of augmented or virtual reality, which is an odd term in of itself because reality is only ever experienced through the senses and no one is ever in a position to know what an objective reality is in the first place. Although, to be fair, it is now believed that we have more than the traditional five senses, with some putting the number as high as eighteen, one of which is proprioception, or the ability to sense where one’s body parts are, and now the gorilla can’t stop feeling his ears, which are listening to ABBA.
This gorilla doesn’t really want to write a report.
The best salad is sky salad.
Gorilla that just realized that soul cakes don’t actually contain souls and is now having to consider other ways to reach his tithe quota.
In infrared, sitatungas are patronuses.
This antelope doesn’t understand why humans don’t just force their elected officials to alternate each term with having to live on what the lowest paid worker earns.
Even-toed ungulates understand economic incentives.
Cape buffalo realizing that a banjo made of gold would be ineffective at doing anything other than shining in the sun, so it couldn’t play “Wish that girl was mine”.
Otter thinking about how life is nothing but the memory of a stream of moments, the more of which you collect, the fewer there are yet to come.
Also, about fish.
Gibbon checking Twitter and realizing that the world will end with neither a bang or a whimper but a “Really?”.
Compiling a list of things undreamt of in Horatio’s philosophy.
– Earth’s magnetic field
– Pulmonary circulation
– Laws of planetary motion
– Physics of gases
– Cellular biology
– Radio transmission
– Media-based limitations to the speed of light
– Bayesian probability
– Conservation of mass
– Elemental theory
– Electrochemical series
– Infrared radiation
– Atomic theory
– Heat engines
– Public education
– Electrical circuitry
– Electromagnetic induction
– Conservation of energy
– Absolute zero
– Voting rights for non-white men
– Evolution by means of natural selection
– Germ theory
– Cathode rays
– Voting rights for women
– Liquid crystals
– Brownian motion
– Continental drift
– Atomic modeling
– Black holes
– Quantum mechanics and uncertainty
– Big bang theory
– The internet
– Hubble flow
– Caloric restriction
– Nuclear fission and fusion
– Information theory
– Quantum electrodynamics
– Plate tectonics
– Cellular division limitations
– Public health care
– Gravitation waves
– Polymerase reactions
– Extrasolar planets
– Grid cells
– Synthetic genomes
– Photonic molecules
– Gravitational waves
Anteater walks into a bar.
Bartender keeps his damn mouth shut because it’s rude to comment on aspects of a another’s appearance that they neither chose nor are able to change.
When it gets really hot, the tigers melt.
I was going to make a joke about how wobblies glow white in the sun when viewed in infrared, but that’s not true. This is an albino.
Just because you’re outclassed, doesn’t mean it’s not worth standing your ground.
Years ago, shortly after I started getting serious about this photography thing, I happened by the zoo when there weather was stormy. I was lucky enough to get a photo of a red panda glowering out from between the leaves of his tree, water droplets sticking to his fur, pissed off because his mate wouldn’t let him inside.
This summer, I was there when there were three thunderstorm warnings. I spent hours watching the radar and moving back to the red panda enclosure in the hopes to getting a similar shot with my newer camera and lens. The first two storms missed us, but right before it got dark, the third storm came by. It had weakened considerably, but I was hoping that there would be enough moisture in the air to start sticking to the red panda fur (more like hair, really).
It stuck to the leaves instead, so the red panda had a drink.
Art thou ashamed to kiss? then wink again,
And I will wink; so shall the day seem night
This cow isn’t sure that surfing social media is the best use of your time right now.
Sure he looks calm right now, but you know Spaceman Spiff is just a panel or two away from crash-landing on Mars.
When you were looking forward to your plans, but your kid needed an emergency cuddle.
Few people know that camels can be folded for easier storage.