A key skill to being an avian consultant is to be able to hear things like …

– We want to outsource our nest building, but need to maintain strict quality controls in all aspects of design, material selection, and placement, while also gaining new features like automated egg rotation meeting our species’ ideal, two bathrooms, and a walk in closet.

– Yes, my plumage is old and I really should have molted a few years ago, but I’m just really busy, you know. I was thinking that, since growing new feathers takes so long, that maybe I just spruce myself up with a bit of paint. What do you think?

– I have this awesome entrepreneurial idea! Just in time on-demand prime worm delivery for all the birds that don’t want to be early! Can you put together a business plan, risk analysis, vendor sourcing review, ROI calculation, and marketing plan? I’ll be able to pay you next year once the business is successful.

… and still make this face.